My "groudhog day" thought...

It’s surprising to wake up every the morning, and realize - over and over again - that I still cannot feel or move my right foot.

Somehow, despite what the doctors had said, I guess I believed that with time, rest, and meds my leg would slowly return to function.
After all, this is not the first time I have suffered an episode with my problematic back. A couple of episodes I’ve had have been really bad.
But there’s always been moderate daily progress, and therefore, it had always been clear that - in time - the episode will be over.

This time is different.
While my mood and mental state are indeed improving on a daily basis, and the pain is becoming more manageable (or maybe I am just getting used to living with it), the neurological disability is persistent and stubborn.
Which means I will have no choice but to make an “actual” decision.
Which means “I’ll just wait”, “I’ll just rest”, “time heals” is not a viable decision this time.

And that has thrown me for a loop.

I’m good at making decisions - usually.
I diligently collect data, I map out pro and cons, and when I decide which way to go - I follow through like a bulldozer.

But every morning, when I wake up and try to wiggle my toes, I hope against hope I will be spared having to make a decision this time.

No such luck today. Yet.