Monday, June 8, 2009

On exhaustion and inspiration

It's exhausting - staying optimistic. It's exhausting to keep telling everyone that I'm not worried, that I'll be all right, that I'll get over it. Exhausting to keep smiling - even when I'm not in the mood - just to prove to everyone that I'm not torn by the situation.
Not that I'm lying - I truly am optimistic, and I'm not half as worried as I was when it began, and I am really, honestly not torn (at least not anymore).
But having to prove it to everyone, over and over again, is just ... well, exhausting.



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A dear friend I met last week called me "inspiring". I was flattered and filled with pride when he used that word. I never meant to be inspiring to anyone, just to be open and real.

So maybe, having to smile over and over again and tell everyone how I'm not worried, is worth it despite the exhaustion - because it makes me "inspiring" to someone.

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